Monday, December 21, 2009

Losing My Reflection

I came across this old, old entry today and for some reason, felt the need to add it here...

I think I had my first seizure within a week of this great date and thus began my sad, sad spiral down. I pushed the guy away ... I did a lot of bad things after that seizure. This picture was the aftermath ... and there was about a week of healing time before I took this depressing picture ... and apparently I left some huge blood stain outside the elementary school on the sidewalk. Walking by the school talking to a rescue buddy, mid-sentence I just went head first into the pavement. Yes, look at that picture again - that is a WEEK'S WORTH of healing; 3 internal sutures, 7 external above my eye; a possible fractured cheek bone or at least I bruised the bone and that scar's still obvious if you look for it (everyone was amazed I didn't blow out my whole eye socket because of course I fell on a twisted piece of sidewalk too) and bruised nose.

I went to class the day after my first seizure too. I think I wore sun glasses pretty much 24/7, even to class, for about a month after that.

Only a few months after that, I also ended up knocking out half my two canine teeth and require stitches by a plastic surgeon (thank God one was in the ER that night) to put the right corner of my lip back on. There were countless concussions (from seizures) and bad decisions (from depression) in between all that too. A girl can start to feel like she's losing her own reflection ...

"Action is the antidote to despair" -Joan Baez