tired of settling!

I posted earlier that I believe I may be dying from lack of Vitamin D. I am so sick of this cloudy/rain bull!! Sun, where are you?! The sky is blue now, but it's still a bit hazy out. Just awful... this dark house isn't helping either. I miss the big picture windows in the living room at my parents'. Though my house definitely lacks the background soundtrack of Cracker's constantly purring and the assistance with chores, such as making the bed which Nigel is very helpful with as you can see in the photo.

This question came up on a survey today and I wanted to post it here. "What do you want in a relationship more than anything?" What I wish for: I want someone I'm comfortable with, someone who has their own hobbies & friends & life for me to appreciate and they appreciate mine, someone who can cook and who has a sense of humor, knows how to respect a woman, a person. Someone who preferably works with their hands, is honest and can put up with me. Someone who can hold my hand and pull my hair - and know which is the proper place for which lol I want to be with someone who embraces sarcasm and random romance - who has strong ties to their family and a sense of themselves, works hard and plays hard - really dedicates themselves to the things they want to do and need to do.

Now, where do I find all that??? Cause, honestly, I'm sick of just settling. Settling for the attention I get from undeserving people. Settling for the lack of appreciation I get from people who should know I deserve better. Settling for not getting credit. Settling for what I'm offered. Settling for second place. Settling, settling, settling. I'm tired of settling!

Here's an excellent post about messing things up, which I know I absolutely do as well, and yet why you should take chances. Check it out: Love ... Isn't it what we all want? Then why so often do we screw it up? Maybe instead of settling, I need to be taking more chances - new chances in the hopes of something better. That takes so much guts though. I sure hope I've got the backbone...

"I'm tired of charring my ass on your back burner" -Sam on True Blood ~ such a good quote!

Happy Father's Day

Happy, happy Father's Day to all you dads out there, the soon to be ones as well (like Jason!!) and especially this guy:

Books

Ah, books. They are an obsession of mine. Books plus some good tea = a good time in my opinion. Since I'm housesitting, I've got lots of time to read, which is nice.

I'm reading new books now, a few of them actually. Here's what I've got next to my bed right now: Animals Make Us Human: Creating the Best Life for Animals, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life and I'm yet to finish all the stories in I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell which is both ridiculously funny and ridiculously awful depending on which story you're reading.

It's not unusual for me to stop in the middle of one book and start up another one, especially if they're books heavy on one subject (like an opinion, biography or educational books). I just like to take a break (often with a novel) and get some variety so I can make my own thoughts on the book and its subject rather than be biased after only focusing on that one subject for so long. Odd, I know.

46 Lessons of Life

stolen from Stephanie

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion, today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Like driving, slow down, look both ways and yield a little. You do not always have to be first.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift
46. Do a good deed everyday. Open a door, remember to say "thank you", smile, let someone in your lane of traffic. You may not know what effect it will have on them but it will make you feel better about yourself.

Be well, friends

Bear's Been Adopted!

Look at that sad face... how could I resist? Not that I had much choice, no, Bear was being sent from GA to me in NJ. He was a shelter favorite, desperately out of time and I wasn't going to ignore the fact I was supposed to save him. If you don't know the story behind Bear, read it ... there are some times in life when "destiny" or "fate" seem to be the only terms that really embody them. Him coming to me was one of them, I'm sure.

Well, the news to report on Bear this time? He's adopted!! Until we realized how sick my dad was, it was not an uncommon thought that Bear would stay for good with my family. It was never really determined, but it was definitely brought up every so often. Then, with my dad's diagnosis though, I started to more actively seek out a forever home for Bear. Three big dogs would just be too much for my mom. Several families were interested, I just didn't really pursue them - no fenced in yard, really little kids, too far, etc. One family even came out and they seemed great ... but their young son had had a bad experience recently with a jumpy little dog and so he was so nervous around Bear. That's one thing, but my mind was pretty made up when the parents made no effort (once seeing how goofy and laid back Bear was) to make their son more comfortable with Bear as well and, if that wasn't bad enough, they let the son just wander all over my parents home chasing my cats. t felt hopeless to find a home good enough to make me want to give up the dog I rescued within a week of Cheyenne dying. However, after thinking Bear would stay and after the families that wanted him (but just didn't feel right to me), fate it seems walked back into the equation. Bear was adopted by family friends and went home with them just yesterday.

His new mom showed up before she had work Wednesday (yesterday), bringing my dad and her husband, who was down at the farm helping do some construction with my dad. She walked into the house and said, "Hey there, my dog." And took him got a quick walk around before she headed out for work. He's a big guy and definitely tries to use that to his advantage, but he really does listen well and the walk wasn't so bad - a relief since he's rarely on a leash because we just let him out in the fenced yard with the other dogs to go to the bathroom and play. She was really excited he was coming home with her husband later.

I've got to admit, it's a little harder to see Bear go. Usually my incentive is that I can only save one at a time ... so, I adopt out the one I've got, no matter how much I'm attached, in order to have the room to save another. But this time, my mom's saying no more: no more dogs, no more rescuing dogs. I can't argue. I'm at her place again thanks to losing my job a few months ago. Not being allowed to rescue another, kind of takes away my joy in it all, my relief to save another. Not to mention, with the loss of Cheyenne, I really thought Bear would hang around for good. The dynamics of just Kyleigh and Sadie is weird, I think. Sadie always curled up and played hard with Cheyenne and the rescue dogs. Just two dogs now ... we haven't had just two dogs since before Honey died.

Here's a photo of Bear at my parents' front door as I was leaving the day he was going to be going home with his new dad. If it weren't for that white chest, it'd be awful hard to see him. :) I'm gonna miss that goofy face greeting me when I come home ... but I can't imagine a better family for him. Honestly, that's the only reason I let him go. His new mom was already talking about walks with him in the morning until he was exhausted, a special bed with his name on it, brushing his teeth and dinners consisting of the extra flavorings of anything from beef to chicken to salmon. They want him and I can't imagine a better family for him ... and I can't imagine a better addition for their family either. Bear has been around my cats, so he should have no problem getting along with their two and he is so laid back that I don't think he'll be any problem greeting their older Lab boy, Jax ... and nothing compared to getting a puppy (house training them, obedience training, fixing them, the adjustment, not to mention how terrorized Jax would be with all that puppy exuberance).

Maybe our friends have held off getting a puppy not only because they were afraid it would be an insult to Jax (like they were trying to replace him - as if!), but because Bear was out there looking for them ... it only took a dedicated volunteer to try to find someone to save him, a transport team and some months with me for everything to fall into place. And now, instead of a "replacement", they're getting Jax a friend. This is a very happy story and though his time with me is over, its a wonderful beginning for Bear somewhere else.

Fishy Situation...

I woke up this morning and over our amazing breakfast smoothies, the parents are telling me that while biking this AM they came across something very strange ... for about 2+ miles, they passed dead fish and crabs and it extended further down the beach than they even went. Little shiny fish, bigger fish, crabs, some jellyfish and even a blowfish! Terribly concerning, in my opinion. The fish had their mouths open as if they had gotten stranded there, but the crabs would have scurried away if it had been something that simple. My sister's boyfriend even considered not running this morning because the smell was so awful and the heat of the day has barely even begun.

We start flipping through the phone books trying to figure out who to call about this. My mom comes across some "non emergency" police(?) number and called. From hearing my mom's story, they let her know that they're going to get in contact with the head of beach management and to please call back in a little. Note: the photo to the right is a variety of some of the pretty things I found among the dead fish, jellyfish and trash washed up on the shore. So very pretty, but so very sad at the same time.

So, my mom let some time pass for them to get in touch with the proper people and then my mom called again. In the mean time, we notice a police car out on the beach. However, on the phone, beach management told my mom that "it's just something that happens sometime" and "it's from the storms last week."

My mom's response? I don't believe it.

Oh, and get this: they don't even clean it up! They just wait for the tide to take the fish back. Hooray for letting nature take them back and all, but I don't believe nature is what caused this beach catastrophe.

On another note, please keep Mugsy in mind. She's my Aunt Mar's crazy, but dearly loved Airedale who has been mysteriously sick since we've been away ... and, no, it has nothing to with them being gone. There is little that keeps that girl from eating, so what is wrong with her is a mystery.

Mugsy's been to the vet several times now - including an overnight emergency facility since this all started Sunday. There was nothing on her x-rays and nothing off with her blood work either. Her throat did swell and the belief was she swallowed something that cut up and caused some infection in her throat, but with some pain meds and antibiotics, she's still not right ... in fact, my Aunt Mar's husband headed back to the vet with Mugsy this morning.

Oh, and another note - Sims 3 came out today. People, let me know if it rocks enough to buy it and begin a new obsession lol