Ending on a lighter note for the day!

There was a couple in yesterday who were looking for kittens - the littlest kittens you could get. Obviously we don't get many of them here, let alone this time of year, but I was very excited because I was able to talk them into the little ones we do have - like Merlin who's about 7 months now. So, they see Merlin, love Merlin and I think -hey, why not?- and offer to show them Shy, Merline's sister, even though she's still caged in her new room since she's overwhelmed with all the other cats.

I take the couple in to this other room, I take Shy out, she looks around and absolutely FREAKS out!!! I end up almost losing her, grabbing her and getting her back into the cage with her rear end scruffed in one hand and her scruff in the other ... reassuring the couple that of course I wouldn't let them get hurt and she's just still very shy (duh!!! me). Now, the entertaining part on top of all this is I'm doing/saying this as my pinky finger is bleeding on both sides from scratch marks and, prepare yourselves: my shirt is hanging TORN open! Oh yea, from the bottom of my black bra down to the hem above my tattoo are now in view of this couple and everyone in the lobby since the big window is right there ... oh, and bleeding as well from where her back claws got me on the hip.

Sponsors of our one special needs kitty, Hootz, are here as well and we've talked extensively the last time they were in (I was actually off and barefoot walking around talking to them the first time - ah the joys of living at work). So, not only has the couple witnessed this, but everyone in the lobby who can see me through the giant floor to ceiling window into the room - including this sponsor. Oh man! All I could do was point at my torn shirt, make a face and roll my eyes at them since they were watching.

Thankfully the couple had to go then because I needed to start PM rounds, but I had to take them into the lobby and talk to them a bit more. So, I'm walking around with my torn scrubs, talking, until they left. Geez ... And let me tell you, that was just PART of one hell of a crazy day. Only me!

they FIND me! - continued

So, I have come to find that the cat in the storm drain has not only been seen before but is most likely a cat that was ABANDONED at the gates! One morning a while ago, the morning crew pulled up to the gates (closed at night) and saw a cardboard carrier that had a note on it - "I am Luigi" ... but no Luigi. He had somehow gotten out of the carrier and run off after he had been abandoned!!! Poor baby. We still haven't caught him yet, or whoever that little storm drain kitty may be. Our trap isn't too reliable and I know days pass without us thinking to set the trap and nights I flash my flashlight around to make sure we unset it and that there isn't some poor kitty in the trap in the cold and dark. A day doesn't go by I don't think of that cat though.

The other day, when Danielle and I were headed to our emergency vet to pick up one of the sanctuary kitties ready to come home, we got a call from a co-worker still here that someone had abandoned two kitties in our lobby. They took the time to catch their cats, put them in a carrier, zip it up, drive here, WALK IN and then the assholes creeps wrote out a note in our lobby and just walked out without speaking to anyone! The little one was desperate for love, the bigger guy was just petrified - calm, quiet, but completely confused & scared.

I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised with some of the things (definitely not "people" cause I still like to think them as kind with SOME common sense) I share my genetic make up with just abandoning kitties like they're nothing when we so commonly do that with human babies these days, but it's still a real disappointment every time I come across it. They're your responsibilities, your babies ... a life you are LUCKY to be a part of and they need you. Take their lives into consideration, please!

Does this written poem relate to cats who run petrified without their people & territory? No. But countless dogs are abandoned too. In the last handful of months, I had one volunteer and one friend pick up puppies just abandoned for no reason ... sweet babies that were just sitting or pacing on the side of the road for hours before these kind people picked them up ... I guess the saddest thing to me, are NOT the ones that find me, but the countless ones I don't find, the ones I can't help.

A dog sits waiting in the cold autumn sun,
Too faithful to leave, too frightened to run.

He's been here for days now, with nothing to do,
But sit by the road, waiting for you.

He can't understand why you left him that day.
He thought you and he were stopping to play.

He's sure you'll be back, and that's why he stays.
How long will he suffer? How many more days?

His legs have grown weak, his throat's parched and dry,
He's sick now from hunger and falls, with a sigh.

He lays down his head and closes his eyes,
I wish you could see how a waiting dog dies.
-Anonymous

I swear, they FIND me!

Lots and lots and LOTS of posts today ... I can't help it. It's been awhile and I found some good things to post as well. :)

Today, a co-worker and I headed out to take the trash to our back dumpster. Usually I leave it for Karina (my coworker) since she likes to take a smoke break then, but the trash was piling up all over - as you can imagine it would when cleaning up after about 100 cats a day!!! So, anyway, Karina and I headed out, tossed the trash in the dumpster and I went to our storage shed to take some litter bags in to fill up our litter containers inside. Karina was still smoking, so we were chatting when after a minute or two of that, I hear a very loud, very pathetic MEOW.

Yes, I questioned my sanity ... why think it odd to hear cats when THEY'RE ALL OVER? But we were outside, away from the solariums (our fenced in/walled up outside lounges for our sanctuary cats) and the meow sounded so close.

I paused, looked at Karina, looked over to the solariums and said, "I don't think that came from over there ... I think that came from over by the dumpster." Now, whether I heard the next "meow" first or stepped forward and then the cat cried again, I found the source - a little, long-haired black cat IN the storm drain.

Karina went running inside to get help while I got down on the ground and stuck my arm into the storm drain to see how the cat was - skinny, lots of stuff stuck in his/her hair and VERY affectionate. He/she was jumping up at my hand, head-butting it for love, etc. I was able to scruff the cat and pull her/him out of the storm drain. Danielle, another coworker, came out then with a carrier. She asked if we should try to carrier. In hindsight, I should have just carried the damn cat inside, but we went for the carrier to protect my arms in case she freaked and, generally, just as common thought on how to move a cat.

Bad thought! I got the cat almost all the way in, she/he FREAKED out, scrambled out of my grasp - which was amazing for a freaking out cat, I still had the cat's back end in a scruffed grab as it was back in the storm drain. It darted into the tunnel and that was the last we saw of the cat.

Don't think the adventure stopped there, we tried to think of anything we could use to pick up the storm drain grate ... even joking that Ginny should tie a rope to the back of her SUV and the top of the grate and pull it off (obviously that wouldn't work since it needs to be pried UP before it could be dragged off). In the end, I was cold (no jacket the whole time since I was expecting to just take out the trash and not some ridiculous cat wrangling adventure), the cat was definitely gone and a trap was set ... no luck yet and I'm so angry I didn't just take the cat inside in my arms. At least if she/he got away then it would have been in the building for us to get instead of lost in some underground maze of storm drain tunnels.

Apparently this is a cat that's been seen before ... down the road more than around us, but the storm drains are apparently crazy, long, connected tunnels underground. We had a trap set all day and I'm hoping he/she comes back because they were very affectionate.

About Dogs ...

About Dogs

A dog can be introspective or outgoing.

A dog can look out a window longer than we can.

A dog does not worry about things he cannot control.

A dog does not speak.

A dog does not sweat.

A dog has better breath than we have.

A dog keeps up his appearance.

A dog does not lie or steal.

A dog studies bugs.

A dog gives us a look we interpret as love,
though we might not look back.

A dog dies in agony every 12 seconds in a city pound.

—Gardner McKay

Open Letter from Tammy Grimes, December 17, 2007

Greetings!

On September 11, 2006, I rescued a dog that was dying at the end of a chain in a muddy yard in a small Pennsylvania town. I was subsequently arrested. A little over a year later, on December 15, 2007, I was convicted of theft and receiving stolen property.

The last year has been the most traumatic and the most inspirational of my life. I have been labeled a "terrorist" a "vigilante", a "publicity hound" and an "anarchist." I have been called a hero. I have been humbled by encouragement and well wishes from people all over the world. I have been attacked in person and in print in my small town, where the prevailing view is that it is fine and dandy to tie a dog to a tree or a dog house and leave it to pace back and forth for year after agonizing year, in skull-cracking cold or 100-degree weather, with nothing but parasites for company.

I don't regret what I did. Not for one second. And when it comes to rescuing dogs and changing minds and laws, I'm just getting started. Here's why.

The dog at the center of all this, a dog we would eventually name Doogie, had been lying in the mud and rain for three days, chained to the dog house he had been attached to for years. He was unable to stand and was pawing the air in desperation. His owners chose to go four-wheeling and to work on Monday instead of getting him the vet help he needed and deserved, but most importantly was entitled to by law. A distraught neighbor had called animal control repeatedly over the course of the three days. But as so often happens, no "humane" officer called back. No one ever showed up. (Surprised? Trust me, it happens all the time, and not just in my town.) The frantic neighbor eventually reached out to me and to Dogs Deserve Better.

What I did next set in motion a chain of events that would eventually garner national attention, the wrath of some, the support of others, and an agonizing trial during which I had to listen to lies and mischaracterization

s for three days: I removed that dog's chain and I took him to the veterinarian. It was all very clear to me as I lifted the emaciated, wet dog into my van. I had been in animal rescue long enough to know that I would probably be labeled the villain while the dog's caretakers wouldn't even be questioned for leaving a suffering dog on the ground for three days, not to mention all the years they tied him to a shabby box in the yard; letting his toenails to grow so long they were curling back toward his pads, denying him vet care when he most needed it.

But I also knew that what I was doing was morally correct. It was the compassionate thing to do. It was the only thing I could do. Time was of the essence. A dog was suffering. I felt he was dying.

In court, it became increasingly clear that our 'humane officer' left me "holding the bag," in this case little more than a bag of bones. He had been offered the dog by me as part of what should have been a cruelty case against the caretakers 2 times on September 11th, but ignored me both times. On the witness stand the officer, in an attempt to cover his own hide, stated he told me and the vet assistants not to remove Doogie from the vets. This is absolutely untrue, and if he had done so I would not have been put in the position of choosing between Doogie's skin and my own.

So, now I'm guilty. Ah yes, guilty of caring about a dog that had been left to die. Guilty of putting myself and my reputation on the line because I can't stand to see suffering. Yes, call me guilty.

At Dogs Deserve Better, we see dogs in horrific situations every day. Sometimes these sad animals are neurotic or aggressive from years at the end of a chain. Sometimes, they are half-starved or have collars embedded in their necks. Sometimes they are dead. So, why go out on a limb for one old dog? Why take a moral stand in this one instance? Why challenge a law, when Dogs Deserve Better has stuck to the letter of the law in almost 1,000 rescues to date?

The answer is simple: because it was the right thing to do. Because our laws regarding personal property and animal welfare are contradictory and archaic. Because Michael Vick can't kill his dogs, but the Arnolds can. Because, at the end of the day, I knew I simply couldn't live with myself if I walked away from that dog and left him to suffer there in the mud.

Doogie blossomed after we got him medical care and showed him a warm bed and a little love. He not only walked again, but actually ambled around with a spring in his step. Imagine. A dog that for many years could not take more than a few steps before being yanked back by a chain, was trotting around a yard and enjoying soft hands and a warm home!

I have no illusions about my life's work. I know some people will never get it. I know some people think "it is just a dog." I know some people consider me the representation of all that is evil because I have compassion for animals and because in one isolated incident, where the clock was ticking and life was ebbing, I took someone's "property" -- property that the owners had for all intents and purposes abandoned on the ground like a used-up piece of junk. But I don't care what my detractors think because I now know that I have more support, more friends, more allies, than I ever dreamed possible.

The support I have received during the last year has made me stronger in my convictions and more steadfast in my work. I know that the vast majority of reasonable, educated, compassionate people believe that it is barbaric beyond imagining to chain a dog for its life. I know that anti-tethering laws will continue to be passed in states, cities and counties across this country. ("No-brainers" a recent news article called these laws.) And I'm going to work harder than ever to make sure that happens.

Five years ago, when I started Dogs Deserve Better, people laughed in my face when I talked about laws against chaining. Today, three states have passed laws that severely limit the practice, as have hundreds of cities and counties, some banning chaining altogether. I know that I will see the day when our society sees tying a dog to a doghouse for 15 years as abhorrent as eating a dog.

Oh yes, make no mistake: times change and morality and compassion eventually triumph over ignorance and stupid, blind habit. Slavery ended. Women got the right to vote. Wife beating is no long accepted. You don't see a lot of kids working in mines or sweat shops anymore. Even dog fighting was made a crime.

I can't help but think about Rosa Parks. We can be sure she never regretted refusing to budge from that Montgomery bus seat. And though I may never be as brave as she was, I'll never regret taking a half-dead dog from someone's yard.

In memory of Doogie. May he rest in peace.-Tammy Grimes, December 17, 2007

To read the press release and view just-released photos, visit the Doogie page. http://tinyurl.com/2t7f2m

PLEASE Join Dogs Deserve Better today! We have a chance to change the future. With your help, we can let the world know animal abuse MUST be taken seriously. Don't sit back and let it happen. If we DON'T stand up, this practice WILL NOT END. Please get involved today.

Sincerely,
Tammy Grimes
Founder, Dogs Deserve Better

Dogs Deserve Better
www.dogsdeservebetter.org
877.636.1408
P.O. Box 23
Tipton, PA 16684

day off

On my private journal. Feel free to email me if you want access.

What do they say about when something seems too good to be true?

... ahh, yes - it probably is!

Jack's back. Things got a little shaky for a moment and he came back to me after being adopted out. Better now than later after he got attached, but still ... I'm disappointed since things seemed to be falling into place for him with finding such a good home.

Apparently not though.

After explaining his fear of new men and making the plan to bring him home after the holiday when it would be quieter (due to the fact his new family was having all their family over for the holiday), Jack's new parents apparently invited a bunch of people over within like 24 hours of bringing Jack into their home - he growled at a male in-law that stood up by him quickly and that was it - they wanted Jack out!

I told them he was beaten - it's evident by his destroyed eye and yet I guess they weren't understanding enough to work through it, to correct it and show Jack they aren't the people who did that to him. I tried to talk to them, get the story, see what could be done, but they just weren't understanding of what had happened and my gut feeling was: get him out! I mean, they invited a bunch of strangers over before Jack even got to know or trust them and the new house. That's just not smart at all even if you know the dog - let a lone a brand new one with a history like Jack! Poor Jack...

Cancer sucks

It took my aunt, it's taken my dogs and now my rescue friend's cancer is back and it seems to be very advanced. It's affecting her eyes now and she's waiting for a bed in ICU at the hospital to get on a medication she reacts very dangerously to, but it's killed her cancer before. She's tried many, many ways and avenues to heal and get better - it just keeps coming back. I'm worried about her. She's one of the sweetest women you can imagine, vegan/vegetarian, cat lover and genuinely good person.

I'm eating pickles while my cats are all bugged out in my room. My parents brought up Little Dani and Dorie tonight. Neither of them have ever moved before ... so they were hiding out under my bed.

I threw some cat nip around, sprayed some Feliway and put food out for them. It was the food that seemed to do the trick. :) Only for a moment though - then back under the bed.

moved!

I'm here at my new place - the on-site dream job (no driving necessary). The internet is working more on than off though I haven't been able to receive messages on AIM for some reason. I'll ignore that for now and at least be excited I can be on here and such. I'm quite excited overall. Tomorrow I start my job and hopefully all goes well. My aunt bought me some real cute scrubs and I'll be working both shifts tomorrow, I think, training mostly. So long as I don't get bitten, I'll consider tomorrow a success. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for some hot delivery man - mail, UPS, food - something to tempt me! Hahaha.

Everything's not unpacked yet, but I took some pictures and I'm really excited to be here.

"What lies ahead I have no way of knowing ~ But under my feet, baby, grass is growing" -Tom Petty

Pink or Blue and other matters too

Ah, I'm much more of a blue girl myself and I'd have even settled with like green and yellow or pruple and yellow, but my rescue volunteers have seemed to blaze ahead full steam with pink - lots and lots of pink!

I'll be the first to admit I LOVED that barbie pink cage we found for sale, BUT I liked it for the idea of the real retro, black/pink look we could have had by mix-matching our black show cages with the pink one. That's not the direction it went though - pink paper, pink table cloth, pink shirts now, pink out the whazoo.

Makes this girl a bit quezzy and I think, on a public relations note, seems to make this rescue and cats overall appear to be a girl thing

::sigh:: Oh well, I guess...

On the matter of One-Eyed Jack, I still have him. He's sadly not found a home yet and he's such a good boy. He really deserves one. 2 homes fell through on him, two really good sounding homes that would have been totally understanding on how rough he had it earlier on in life. Breaks my heart the poor dog is still stuck with me as a foster after so much time. I never knew it was so tough to place dogs into homes!

Rescues

Apparently there's a bit of a bad streak aside from One-Eyed Jack...

Ramsy is this highly desired kitten my rescue has. He's gorgeous and highly desired because he's white. People seem to have things for white kittens ... however, white cats also seem to be genetically messed up - usually they're just deaf, but our Ramsy seems to have neuro problems. We thought it was a bad infection at first, then we thought maybe it was this one really contagious disease that he had a lot of the symptoms of, but it's looking to be a brain tumor or definitely something neuro. He's eating and moving around well, but he has head tremors, is walking funny now and it's likely he'll start having seizures soon. Poor baby...

We took on Jake, this old, black kitty cat who was falling apart in a shelter. He's doing leaps and bounds better now, but he's at the vet's office. He needed round the clock care.

Our formally no-eye-lidded kitty, St Patty, may need another surgery. It's expensive, extensive and though she recovered quickly before, I feel bad that she needs to go through it again. She was born without eyelids, which means she had fur rubbing constantly against her eyes and she eventually would have gone blind, aside from just being in constant pain. She is much more comfortable now and such a sweety - it's just rough.

A friend told me today that we always seem to think we need a great deal of friends when truly we only need good friends - a few good friends. It's too true. That advice and reminder rescued me in a way. Thank you! :)

Saved From GA

FFRV, the MOSTLY cat rescue, has expanded a bit this past week because I rescued a dog from Georgia who was scheduled to be killed the same night I said I would take him. It's not the first time we've had a dog in my rescue - our lovely Jen S took in a pair of Pit Bull pups at one point too actually.

Anyway, I get these emails all the time - "urgent", "to die", "desperate", "last chance", etc are the usual titles. These emails come to my rescue email account and usually I automatically delete them without reading the details sure to break my heart because I don't have time, room, etc. However, for whatever reason, I was silly enough to open one of these emails on a Thursday – the last day these dogs listed in the email had. One dog out of the 3 I asked about still needed rescuing... and now I have a one-eyed, big-eared, 37 lb, formally abused, sweetheart of a Shepherd-mixed boy in my house (though I'm doubting the "Shepherd" part since he's full grown at 37 lbs).

When I picked him up from the transporter, all this very kind man (the transporter) kept saying is, "You definitely saved a life. He never would have been saved." He's got one eye, some cage issues and is larger than most dogs that are rescued, I believe - the two other dogs being dropped off at a local shelter were half the size of the boy I got – One-Eyed Jack, that's what I named him.

I'd love to keep him (everyone keeps telling me to keep him), but if I do, I can't ever do this random rescue from the South thing again. My house and my wallet can only handle so much!!

Oh, and FFRV was also in the newspaper recently. FRONT PAGE of the Courier Post!! It was an update on St. Patty who Molly K spoke about when they did an article on her. Molly came to meet St. Patty for the first time and the Courier came out to see it. It was wonderful. A great day, good opportunity to get our name out there and a really nice article as well.

Some people!!

I just got back from beautiful, beautiful Mexico. On the one cooler day we had, my friend and I finally ventured into the large jacuzzi that was at our resort. We'd seen people in it earlier in our trip and just thought them damn crazy! I mean, who goes into a giant, heated, bubbly pool in 83 degree HUMID weather?!

Anyway, so my friend and I go in on this cool day and who do we happen to sit by but a group of three people discussing cats - PUREBRED cats at that. Now, I have no issue with purebred cats, but these people were talking about how they just loved their purebred cat so much they had to breed her and their kids loved it, blah, blah, blah. Are you aware some 10,000 loving, HEALTHY animals are killed EVERY DAY in the U.S. because there's just simply not enough homes for them? Well, it's true. So, hearing someone discuss just on a whim breeding their cat upsets me.

I know not everyone understands this, so I turn to my very healthy, very fit friend and said to her: "Imagine sitting here and overhearing someone say how useless running is, it's a big waste of time and if you run, you're an idiot. That's pretty much how this conversation is for me - they're dismissing everything I do." This is the only way I could try to make her relate to how I was feeling at the moment. As if the hot water wasn't enough, my blood was getting a little heated too.

These people went on to also talk about their cat getting sick and they just gave it up to Siamese Rescue. Turns out the cat had some sort of complication (didn't hear the specifics) from being bred by this couple. I know not all people value their pets like I do, but when getting a pet you're making a COMMITMENT, a commitment to be responsible! Should that pet live a long life and need some assistance at the end or be horribly injured the day after bringing them home, you're responsible - even financially! If I can figure out a way to pull money together for some crazy, new-age way to create eyelids for a kitten born without any, most people can figure out a way to at least afford to fix their pet (especially when there's so much assistance for that now). Correcting some medical condition is a lot cheaper than sending your kid off to college or going on some fancy vacation to Mexico to sit around in a hot tub.

It just frustrates me how people can be so ignorant.

Chickens, ducklings, oh my!

A former rescue buddy of mine called up my house today to say that she'd driven past her local shelter this morning (at this time of year is so hot and dangerous for animals just abandoned outside shelters). What did she find? 3 chickens in a cage! This rescue friend took them to work with her in a make-shift covered pen in her truck bed. In calling me for info (we're both more of cat rescuers, but I have a farm so she hoped I had contacts), she got a hold of my mom who said we'd take the chickens. So, chickens are on the way. More animals ...

My family just got ducks as well - baby ducks. A local kindergarten class hatched and raised them and then just started giving them away as they started to get their feathers. Since we have a lake, my dad got in touch with them and we got 2 of the 8 (I don't even know where the other 6 went). It aggravates me that the education system still takes in eggs to hatch and raise ducklings/chicks with no idea what they'll be doing with these babies when they're too big to be any more "fun".

I remember being younger and thinking that whole deal was awesome, but now that I'm older, the lack of forethought of what to do with these animals is really aggravating. These animals shouldn't just be abandoned or given up after a period of time ... what kind of message is that?! I have no objection to classroom pets, but they should be taken care of by the teacher throughout the pet's lifetime and during the school year, whether in the class or taken home by students over the weekends to be cared for. I know not everyone will agree with me, but that's my opinion. I think animals in the classroom can be a wonderful experience and great way to teach responsibility, but only when that responsibility is actually honored!

“I hope to make people realize how totally helpless animals are, how dependent on us, trusting as a child must that we will be kind and take care of their needs... [They] are an obligation put on us, a responsibility we have no right to neglect, nor to violate by cruelty.” –James Herriot

A Purpose

I've decided to make this my rescue blog. The other blogs I've come across all have some serious purpose or main subject they focus on, not just random ramblings like my old blogs. So, I'll make this my blog to write out things about rescue and we'll see if I get a following ... or at least it'll be a place to get my feelings across as sometimes I feel my rescue life & my personal life are two very different portions of me and they're hard to cover all in one spot, one blog. It'll be nice to have this one focused on that.

I'll start this focus, this more purpose driven blog tomorrow or something. Not tonight, my mind's not big on the idea of focusing right now.

PS- I have this thing for quotes. Expect them.

New Movie - Story of my Life?

Can I not admit that Evan Almighty seems to be the story of my life? No, elephants aren't showing up in my backyard, as upset as my aunt might be over this fact, but cats ... they're everywhere!

Everywhere I go: behind a building, walking through my friend's backyard, running across a street into a field and this doesn't include the countless phone calls my rescue gets of people that want to give them up. Not to mention, this time of year is when I start dreaming of them - last night it was of a cat in my backyard having 12+ kittens.

It's kitten season now and they're being put to sleep by the trashcans-full. That breaks my heart, along with the long-loved house pets surrendered for whatever (poor) excuse that are also being put to sleep before their owners are barely out the door of whatever shelter they're being left at.

No matter what I do, it doesn't seem to be enough.

daydreaming and I'm thinking of you

I had another seizure last week. I fell between two tables and apparently kept bashing my face into the one table ... and it was at a fundraiser too.

The last I really remember was setting my stuff down to help Maureen hand out prizes and then I was waking up on the floor. I broke two teeth, my canines, and my tooth literally went through my lip. My aunt told me later that she didn't think it looked that awful - until she realized that as she was looking at my face she could see inside my mouth.

After an MRI to make sure I didn't shatter my cheek bones, I needed 4 stitches to put my lip back together and my lip was so bad that the doctors seemed to neglect everything else: I tore my back up, my knees are all bruised and I'm still not entirely sure my one finger's alright - it is bruised down into my palm.

I'm not sure what's worse: falling backwards and losing chunks of my memory from the concussions or falling face first and losing chunks of my face...

I wasn't allowed to shower that night either since the stitches were fresh, so the next day when I was showering, the water ran red with blood. My hair felt like cement because it was so caked with blood. I had to sit there and try to pick my hair apart just to get it wet. I hate this, I hate this...