Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Tunes on Tuesday

Kelly Clarkson had a CD out around the same time my dad was diagnosed (and I was stuck between moving away or staying home) and this song just hit home. Still does...

Kelly Clarkson's Save You
I wish I could save you...

I wish I could say to you
It's gonna be alright...

Didn't mean
Didn't mean to leave you stranded
Went away 'cause I didn't want to face the truth...

There were ties I'd wonder
Could I have eased your pain
Why did I turn away...

We can pretend nothing's changed
Pretend it's all the same
And there will be no pain tonight
It's gonna be alright
Save you
I wish I could save you
I'm not going no where


Acoustics are a little shotty at points, but this is a great live version...

Thursday, May 5, 2011

First Signs

Frontotemporal Dementia is actually a general term for a grouping of conditions. We believe my dad's to have begun with the one affecting his social skills and ability to be empathic of others. We noticed things like:

- my dad's lack of care for his family ~ the man that used to hug us goodbye, help us pack up our car if we were off somewhere (like me back to school), etc. would barely acknowledge us walking out the door. He'd just keep watching TV.

- he was very impulsive ~ speeding when we were in no hurry, taking things he wanted without asking (or, in stores, without paying for them) and we found out later, he'd been leaving work for some time to just go stand around in a store nearby.

- my dad asking questions to strangers that you just normally wouldn't ~ Are you pregnant? Is your daughter adopted? How much is your mortgage? What's that tattoo of?

- he was also obsessed with telling a handful of stories, mainly about his parents dying and some fight he got in once. These stories were very out of character (he rarely talked about his parents' car accident ever) and often they were quite randomly brought up ... and he was determined to tell them to whoever was around, day after day if he repeatedly saw someone.

In hindsight, there were probably a lot more signs for several years.

Initially, my dad was diagnosed with depression. This diagnosis came from even a doctor specializing in Alzheimer's in Philadelphia.

We were told daily exercise, maybe antidepressants and time were all that was needed to get him back to himself. I think we all hoped that was the case, but knew better at the same time. We continued to look for answers...


Link of the day: This is one of my favorite links to use when informing someone about my dad's condition. It's quite detailed and yet fairly simple to understand, unlike a lot of sites and sources which describe FTD - Frontotemporal Dementia

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Tunes on Tuesday

Not a day goes by I don't wish I had you.
So in a way, I'm glad you're still here.
It's a bitter sweet victory.
Lovin' the ghost in front of me.


Sunday, May 1, 2011

Dementia Links

My dad played football and so this article caught my interest: Duerson Suicide Has Ex-Athletes Questioning Their Own Exposure To Brain Damage - http://www.bvwellness.com/2011/02/24/after-duerson-suicide-other-athletes-ask-were-football-related

Some comments:
- While a lifelong football fan, I am beginning to question whether to support the sport. As with hockey, the players have grown too big and athletic and the damage caused by their collisions has to be appreciated. I absolutely believe concussions will occur more frequently and also believe they have long term impact. Cases such as Duerson's lead me to believe that I can no longer support these sports with a clear conscious.

- Is this game worth it?

My comment: My dad has frontotemporal dementia (FTD), an early on-set degeneration of the front of the brain. It is still fairly "new", but specialists are starting to think there's a link with brain trauma and this condition... and they are seeing symptoms in A LOT of athletes, especially football players.

There are no words to express how sad it is to lose my dad this way.


There were some more articles that followed.

If you followed this story, there was a big announcement that the results were in on Duerson's autopsy and the cause of death. However, when you went to the article, all that was there was a description of the body when found and nothing on the actual autopsy or if anything was seen during it.

Apparently, Duerson's brain will be studied seperately and those results have not come up yet.

Friday, April 29, 2011

FTD Friday

Friends & those that find there way here,

I know I haven't been very active on here recently, but don't think it's not because I don't mean to be.

The month of May brings a lot of things: flowers, usually more rain here in Jersey, celebrating my Aunt Jean ... and my dad's birthday. In honor of my dad, I'm going to share some links, information and insight I've come across - some informative articles and research, tips shared and a lot of emotion starting with this...

if the video above doesn't work or start for you, click on the "YouTube" icon in the bottom right corner to watch the video there.


Link of the day: "Dementia: A Tragic Fate for My Father" - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/scott-mendelson-md/dementia-the-fate-my-fath_b_380066.html

This article reminds me too much of how I feel...

"He was the kind of guy that perfect strangers would strike up conversations with in a ticket line or at a bus stop. He was honest and dependable. When he said he would do something, you knew that he would do it... "

The description of the dementia reminds me of my dad as well ... the trouble (lack of) words he uses now, the loss of social etiquette, the poor judgement now and this... "My father was a decent, hardworking family man, and he did not deserve the fate of dementia that he suffered. But, in all honesty, not the worst of us does."

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Tea Tuesday

I'm headed to FL tomorrow to see people I love and who I'm lucky enough to say love me :)

10-12-10_Tea (6)ed
Tea Tuesday is reminder to you too, my friends and wanderers that found your way here. Remember that all the good you do won't get done if you're not around or if you aren't properly taking care of yourself.
So, please, take a minute to relax with me at some point today.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Tea Tuesday

Hope this post finds you well.

10-12-10_Tea (6)ed
Tea Tuesday is reminder to you too, my friends and wanderers that found your way here. Remember that all the good you do won't get done if you're not around or if you aren't properly taking care of yourself.
So, please, take a minute to relax with me at some point today.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Savings Alerts & a donation to Petfinder.Com Foundation!

ePetSaver.com: Save money and save pets! We donate 5 percent of every purchase to pet charities.

I signed up for these deal alerts for pet products, which are 50% to 75% off, and EPetSaver made a donation to Petfinder.com Foundation. Check it out!