This morning I had a conversation with yet another significant person suggesting I start over in rescue work - "you started from nothing before - just start again." That type of thing with the supporting arguments of my experience, my dedication and the lessons I've now learned. To hear such things, such hope in me for the things I could do really squeezes my heart and makes me so afraid that I'll let people down if I start over again ... what if I make the same mistakes? Associate myself with the same bad people? Don't live up to these dreams people have of me?
And on top of all the "what ifs" is the feeling that I'm just not sure I have the heart for it right now. Can you just cover up your eyes to all the animals in need once you've been involved in helping them for so long? No ... but I can't see allowing myself to get burnt anymore either with the people I choose to work with. Putting myself in such a trusting position again makes me very nervous.