soap box

My cousin made a comment the other night about narrowing down a date and how we really had to because they were getting booked up with weddings, especially around the time I have in mind (more than 9 months away). I laughed it off, said something light (to ease the hurt I was feeling and avoid a confrontation) along the lines of she was my cousin and of course she'd make herself free for mine if that's when I chose to do it... and she seemed pissed I said that.

This is my cousin, someone I've known forever, someone I was a bride's maid for, someone I planned on asking to be mine. I was upset. First, it was just "well, I guess I can't ask her to be a bride's maid since she might not be free."

Then, the more I thought about what she said, her attitude, the whole thing, well, I got really upset! Ummm, I think I had about a month to buy the dress she picked out and get ready for the wedding she randomly announced (after years of being engaged) in less than 6 months? Oh and she bought a dress (without us - prob the most fun part). I did it though because I said I'd be your bride's maid, I did it because I'm her family and I love her ... but I guess all that's not reciprocated? Good to know.

Let's not even get into the fact I wasn't expecting to get engaged (only a few months ago). Let's not get into what this past year has been and all that's happened or the fact we have like no money or that looking at wedding stuff = thinking about my wedding = thoughts of our wedding without my dad.

Oh, and then there's people like Bucks Meghan, one of the busiest bees I know who I asked for dates when she knew she already had plans. Her response? "It's your wedding. You plan it and I'll be there with the biggest smile on my face." <3 her